Sweet Matrimony

This lives on my desk. It is a pretty accurate picture of how I feel about marriage.


So does this


Totally terrified of catching the bouquet.


Totally stoked for the girl who did.

Having gotten so close to wedded bliss and narrowly, terrifyingly, wisely avoiding it makes me feel lucky as hell. I try to savor my life as a girl about town accordingly.

I do, however, see how real and good marriage can be, and what an exciting adventure it is to embark on. I happily celebrate with my friends when they get hitched.

But for now, I know I like being able to move to a new city because I want to. I want to go on dates, stay out all night dancing, and continue to figure out who I am and what I want before I commit to being with someone else forever.

Still, I sometimes panic that I am far behind, that I’m doing something wrong. I should at least have someone to consistently eat Chinese food with on a communal couch right?

Nope. We make our own paths. We are mavericks, as Tina Fey as Sarah Palin fabulously says.

And I am twenty-two for God’s sake. My brain still isn’t even sure what it’s doing yet.

So wherever you are in life, give yourself a giant hug and congratulate yourself for positively killing it today.


If you’re single, know that if you pray hard enough someone God crafted before the dawn of time will come along to take all of the broken pieces of your soul and fix them with magic and make you feel complete and loved and sultry forever and you’ll never feel sad or lonely again and you will be fulfilled in every way possible.


Love yourself and buy for yourself the fanciest sandwich you can find right now. Read books and be a good friend and take deep breaths as you walk down the street smirking flirtatiously at that man in the grey suit and brown shoes (mathematically the most attractive outfit a man can wear) or that hot lady in whatever hot ladies wear (I’m bad at being a girl).


Most of all know that you have so much purpose and pursue that. Be free and joyous and full of passion, but make sure your passion isn’t contingent on something that will fail.


Its way better than pining and listening to sad love songs.

And if you’re married, be a good spouse. I think that mostly means listen and talk and be extremely selfless.

Actually. Maybe do that if you’re single too.


Don’t Fear the Fat

If I had a quarter for every time a woman in my life equated healthy food to fat-free food I would be suffocated to death by quarters.

I understand the logic. Fat. Like the thing we don’t want to be and society says is the WORST (everyone take a moment to curse the attack on womanhood that is Cosmopolitan Magazine).

But a diet that consists of a lot of fat actually helps you lose weight. It helps you feel fuller longer. It feeds your brain so that it can function properly (which comes in handy frequently). Fat is vital to us. Like protein and carbohydrates. All pretty important.

The key is sourcing properly. Good fats and all that. I spent all summer talking mad shit about coconut milk because it has sosososo much saturated fat. Which is bad for your heart right?  Then I discovered how many forms of fat exist. And how different plant-based and animal-based fats function.

Even just between animal fats, for instance:

The corn-fed cow produces fat in it’s butter that causes inflammation, ultimately leading to high cholesterol, diabetes, coronary artery disease and all that terrible stuff.

All the while, the fat in butter from grass-fed cows actually decreases inflammation, because the cows body knows how to process grass and thus produce the healthy compounds it is supposed to.

Coconut milk does the same thing, decreases inflammation. But it still gets thrown in the same fat category as that Whopper.

Logic works the best here. Eat foods with fat because you need them. Eat foods that make you feel good after you eat them (the healthy ones make you feel like a champion while fast food makes you want to curl into bed and slowly decompose). If you are a veg: eggs, coconut, avocado, nuts, tofu. If you eat meat: well-sourced fish, poultry, and the occasional (but important) steak.


Those omega-3’s give us healthy hair and skin and help our sex hormones function properly, which increases our libidos. So eating fat, not hating our bodies into oblivion, actually makes us knockouts in bed. Suck on that, Cosmo.